Hummer Outside My Door

Sod off Hummer.
See FUH2

Cheeseburger Steve, Resurgent

Hello People! Let the Vitriol Begin!

I won't go on and on again about Lame I've Been, not posting and all and blah blah blah. I decided that I need to get back on here and blow it out so that E. doesn't have to hear me go On and On about all the ways I can think of to torment, punish, and usually ultimately kill the likes of Ricky Gray and Ray Dandridge and the always increasing number of murderers, thieves, pedophiles, and idiots that rise up from the ooze everyday. Let's see, today we have Petersburg child porn dentist who admits to whacking off while watching his computer but clearly deserves a pat on the back because he says he's never molested an actual child. Wow. I'd like to give him a job at the Three Dollar Car Wash so that when four thugs come by to rob it, YES, rob a car wash, they can slit his throat before they split with the thousands of quarters they scored. Please.
Ann Coulter has made an ass of herself again. i'd like to punch her in the neck, not too hard, just enough to say, "Check it Coulter, you've been punched in the neck by a Jewbag!"
Elsewhere, a whole lot of Hannah Montana fans have their young lives ruined by scurrilous ticket scalpers. Also affected, their parents, who are now searching every nook for the key to the liquor cabinet.
Cheer up everybody. Things might look up. Al Gore won half a Nobel Prize. Go ride your bike.
I

Cheeseburger Steve

lazy,lazy leemur

Mein Gott! What have I been doing?!
Well, I've been sick, been better, been working, been wrenching on the bikes, been actually reading books (more on that later, and also what I think about "book reviews" by other readers on Amazon), been learning about life one night in the emergency room with a friend (and also how absolutely filthy a bathroom can be in a hospital), been walking dogs and caring for tomatoes, been watching the Tour De France, and so forth. I think I will probably go into withdrawals when the Tour is over. Be back soon.
Love, Leemur

wed may 30 (yuh yuh yuh, yuh yuh YUH)

Just a word of advice : don't buy wine for dinner at CVS.
Also : I have been informed that rabbits can't really sing, no matter how much I love this commercial and can't get the bunny out of my head. E may leave me if I keep it up...

monday may 21

Today was a really nice day. Weather-wise. I wish I had ridden my bike to work but I didn't. When you ride or drive or walk thru my neighborhood it smells wonderful, like honeysuckle and magnolia. It's almost too much, almost overly intoxicating, but pulls back slightly and doesn't cross that line. I like my neighborhood.
Yesterday was my mother's birthday. I didn't call or write, I'm not even sure which birthday it was. I never call or write. My sister on whom the burden of looking out after her falls, excoriate me for that. I don't blame her I think, not so much. I am scared of my mother, scared of my past, scared of my possible lack of feelings. I don't have pleasant childhood memories and I try to avoid them at every turn. That sister (there are others, but that's more words) and I are nothing alike. We grew up together and yet that seems to have all fallen away. She's always "busy" because she has a busy life. Apparently I don't. I don't think she knows who I am. My mother never has. I've had dreams of her pulling me down, lassoed, dragging me across the earth. What do I do with all of this? The life that I've made for myself is at turns sad, angry, hopeful, and full of love. I am thankful for that. I guess that's it for now.

the pupper

morning

It's Hard

It's hard to find words right now. Having been closely and deeply forever changed by sudden, inexplicable and heinous violence just past a year ago, the shattering violence of Monday is heart breaking. It is unfortunate and true that these things unite us all as family as we grasp for comfort and meaning. Follow this link to an interview on Wednesday's 'All Things Considered' on NPR with a VT junior named Clay Violand. I had to stop what I was doing when I started listening to it--he really struck me as a wounded but very strong young man, extraordinary in his desire to help others heal. Please listen. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9658179
Say some prayers or send good thoughts or meditate or whatever you choose to do, everybody needs it now, more than ever.
Love, Leemur

I Call For Don Imus To Be Hanged By The Neck Until...

almost dead, then cut down and forced to eat two 5lb containers of cottage cheese and granola and then wash it down with a litre of soy milk. After that he will be bound to a chair and forced to watch episode after episode of "Diff'rent Strokes", "Highway to Heaven", "Touched By An Angel", and possibly the first season of "The White Shadow."
Afterwards, he will be set free to work behind the counter of the Jiffy Lube in Marlinton West Virginia, where he will wear a blue mechanics shirt with a name tag on the left breast pocket that reads "Don Ho" and will be constantly ridiculed and ass-kicked for eyeballing the local colored girls.
Good Luck Don!!

US Open Cycling in RVA!!

Woo hoo! What a ball, I loved every minute of it. Here are a few pics and several of my admittedly amateur videos on the sidebar. Love, Leemur

What's My Problem?

Good question! What tha hell, have I been trapped in another world, under something heavy, where there are no phones, no postal carriers, no passenger pidgeons, no internets or emails? Maybe, probably, most likely. Yes. Or maybe I have just been lost in a really long alley.

I'm 40, So Now What?

Do I feel any different? Maybe, maybe not.
Earlier today something I was mulling over made me think about "Jerry McGuire" and I then thought that perhaps I have no Mission Statement to speak of...I have no floor plan, no blueprints, no templates, no tracing paper, no time machine, no retirement plan. I do have Olay Regenerist and some Revlon nighttime eye wrinkle miracle stuff. Once upon a time I figured I'd worry about all that stuff later and now I'm standing in the doorway of Later and I think someone's about to kick me in the ass if I don't get out of the way.

Tomorrow I Will Be 40

Holy shit, I was just 23...so it seems. And what am I about to have for late dinner before turning in? A whopping bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Yeah! That's right. Fruity Pebbles.
This past Friday we went up to DC to hear the ever lovely Susan Graham sing at the Kennedy Center. We had made great time but then got caught up in traffic and whatnot and I ended up dressing and applying light makeup in the garage of aforementioned Kennedy Center.
So there, possibly, is my life in a nutshell of sorts : childish absurdity mixed with a fervent grasp for beauty.
She was great. I'd like to be her personal chef. And best best friend.

spam spam spam spam, i'll have the cheese danish then

Much like everyone else, I receive unsolicited emails or "spam". Perhaps you've heard of it. I like to call them 'spams', as in "Oh my God, you wouldn't believe all the spams I got today while I was out walking the dog!" Okay, seriously. However, I have to admit that some of the subject lines catch my eye and make me chuckle. I've now gotten into a habit of jotting down some of the funnier ones. Since I have a piece of paper neary filled with them, I thought I would create a sort of poem, if you will. I'm sure other people have done this, but I don't care since I feel superior to those people. I'm certain mine will be better. I was briefly celebrated in college for my witty collection of poems about maggots...

Urgent Info
Pennies on the Dollar,*&&%
I Need A Rolex Leo.
Of no Glow.
Freeload.
$100 Free Now!
to butterfield by pram.
suffix.
of no glow.
Go To Chicago and be A Part of Oprah's Live Talk Show!
In he audiovisual%^&
as to Implacable
He midmorn no recipe.
The equalateral is Sardonic
Civilisation Wear
her congestion as triumphant.
WONDERCUM!!
suffix
Find someone to Sleep With tonite.
hey, is this you?

----Love, Leemur

Don't Fool With..

I had the Weather Channel on earlier to get the details for the day and one of the anchors? meteorologists? weather spokesmodels? chickies? was speaking about something or another and said "...you know the saying 'don't fool with Mother Nature...' " and I looked up from tying my shoes as I realised that that is less of a saying and more of an advertising slogan. Oh wait, wait, it was an advertising slogan. I find it both entertaining and creepy that advertising can so permeate things. Have it your way.